.LEAP!

 

That's what propelled me to write LEAP!  I wanted to learn how others are coping, what strategies they're inventing, and what it feels like to do the next years well.  I interviewed more than 200 from all parts of the country who are grappling with the question: What's the next part of life about? We may have 30 more years of vigorous health, lust, and a desire to contribute and create.

What I discovered was that everyone must go through the narrows—even if it's only on the physcial level. Maybe your knees or hips wear down, or you find you can’t drink as much and stay out late without paying. You’re compelled to shift gears, and you won’t come out unchanged. Like the insect in the cocoon, you’ll be turned to soup and reforged, but it won’t be sudden and complete like the butterfly emerging with new wings. This morphosis is ongoing.

Tom Hayden, the Sixties activist, says he had a "shattering transition" to this time of life. After 18 years in the California legislature, he lost a municipal election to a man half his age, suffered heart failure and had a quintuple bypass, followed by depression. Now he's forging a new role, teaching and inspiring young people to work in politics. "We can be freer now than we’ve been since we were 20" he says. "We may have 30 more years to give the system hell!”

What happens to love, and sex? How can women not become touch-deprived if they outnumber men and aren't gay? What if your partner leaves or dies? Will we keep coupling and recoupling?

Boomers will handle this transition as they have handled everything else. We proceed as if no one has ever gone through it before, even though we know they have. We do research, we experiment and learn from each other. Most of us don't want or can't afford to move to the Sun Belt, buy an RV, or just play golf and fish. We want to follow our own lights as never before, and we will forge a different way.

Topics I Cover:

1. The Narrows - The rough passage when it feels like you're being stripped of your identity and purpose. We've raised our kids, made a mark in our field. Why are we still here?
2. Trying to hang on - Having your face lifted and other ways to say it ain't so.
3. Facing facts - Dealing with your kids leaving home. Becoming a "master" - the p.c. word for older.
4. Stepping out of the Box - Taking risks, leaving your comfort zone. As Crosby, Stills & Nash sang: "What have you got to lose?"
5. Giving Back - You marched when you were young? How can you help make the world better now?
6. The Inner journey - In the East, this time of life is reserved for intense spiritual work. Will we pursue that?
7. Actresses, Supermodels and Musicians - Stories of women who had the great bodies, and musicians who had the great chops. Can they still rock 'n roll?
8. Expansion of love and sex - Do we end up with a partner or alone? Joan Hotchkiss, the actress who gave a one-woman show in L.A. about sex after fifty, said: "I refuse to go unfucked to my grave!"
9. Moving - Why and where do we move? Some do it to live more simply, some to build a dream house, some to form a community and grow old with a little help from our friends.
10. Surrender - Do we rage against it or do we accept: we're not in control?
11. Rituals - Some do it with prayers, some with red thong panties and the Rolling Stones. How do we start this excursion to the unknown?
    

Take the Quiz - Ready or Not?

I had a major birthday recently, and my friend Joan Borysenko sent me a list of questions to answer, to clarify what I wish from the years ahead. Try answering them yourself.

Complete the following sentences:
I realize life is both precious and short. When the angel death comes to my door, I will be ready to go because...
The thing I will miss most when life is over is...
I have finished with... (name both good things and difficulties)
I still yearn to...
In the years to come, I will be grateful for...