This is a serial about love and awakening. Previously: I broke my collarbone skiing at Vail, which prevented me from visiting Billy for our second date. Without consulting me, he drove to Boulder to help, couldn’t reach me on the phone and drove home. Click here to start with Part One.
I felt terrible that Billy had made a trip in vain. I called him and said I was really sorry, but I’d been mostly unconscious the last two days. “I wish you’d waited till you spoke to me before driving up.”
“How did you get back from Vail?” he asked.
“I called a friend.”
He was silent. “What friend?” he asked.
“A guy named Bill, as it happens. Like you.”
“You called another man.”
“He’s a friend, just a friend.”
“You chose him over me.”
“I hardly know you. We met once. Bill’s been a friend for years.”
“I would have taken care of you,” Billy said. I took care of my mother when she had a car accident. I took care of my sister when she broke her collarbone. I know how to do it. I would have done that for you.”
“I really appreciate that, but I had no idea…”
He was becoming angry. “You made your choice, and it wasn’t me.”
I tried to explain that I’d felt vulnerable, I needed help getting undressed and going to the bathroom and wanted to call someone I already felt comfortable with. That didn’t mean I wasn’t interested in seeing him again…
But he was hurt and angry and there was no getting him to understand. I told him I had to go, my shoulder was throbbing with pain. “Let’s wait until I feel better and talk then.” Hanging up, I thought, this man is high maintenance. And presumptuous. I mean, I’ve only met him once! I can’t deal with anyone else’s anger right now. I have to focus all my energy on healing.
He called and sent emails in the following days but I didn’t answer any and after a time, they stopped. My friend, Claire, said, “I think the universe saved you from a bullet — an entanglement with a guy who’s not stable. That accident was providential.”
Did it have to be something so extreme? I said.
And that was that. Until Valentine’s Day.
TO BE CONTINUED
Please leave a COMMENT. What do you think of Billy’s reaction, and mine? Do you think sometimes we need to be hit on the head (or shoulder) to learn something or wake up?
This blog is based on a true story, but I’ve changed names and identifying details to protect privacy. I’ve also, in a few cases, compressed time or altered elements to serve the narrative.
The title “Sex Love Enlightenment” is an homage to Mark Matousek’s book, Sex Death Enlightenment